Never stay in a toxic relationship for your child’s sake. It simply isn’t worth it. You may think you’re doing them a favor, but this will only create a burden on the kid. Growing up in conflict can make relationships feel unnatural to them. Life is just too short to stay in a relationship you’ve slowly grown out of. Getting a divorce doesn’t mean it’s the end; this is something that could substantially improve your life.
My parents stayed together, though, falling out of love many years ago. My mother stayed for my sake, though, I don’t blame her. Many restless nights could have been avoided if they had gone their separate ways. I often feel as though seeing their relationship dynamic growing up now rubs off onto how I think. It’s tricky for me to remain in healthy relationships because I’m not used to seeing it. Finally, my parents separated a couple of years back, and our lives improved. My household is now at peace and a safe place to be in. I think that after separating, my parents co-parent better than ever. While interviewing a good friend of mine, Jes, she says her parents weren’t as compatible as other couples. She agrees that a divorce is needed when the time is right. Getting to see your parents being able to fall in love again with life and new people warms the heart. They finally got the love they deserve, which actually betters the kids in all areas. Jes quotes, “I’d rather pack my bags every other week than be in an unhappy household.”
However, some could argue that a divorce would not benefit their position. I think many would rather dodge the bullet of the immense guilt that can come with separating a child from their parents. It’s true; I hear it all the time, “Well, what if they don’t adjust?” or “What if this causes mental issues for my child?”. Both questions are incredibly valid, but what if staying does the same? Think about it: yes, separation can be challenging for children, especially the younger ones, to process, but that’s why many excellent therapists and doctors specialize in helping kids through times like these. Many live in fear that they will regret this. Still, the only thing you will regret is down the line is when you realize the unhealthy ways between you and your partner caused a rift in the relationship between you and your kids. Divorce is always seen to be a bad thing, but the only bad thing is when you realize how you and your toxic ways have impacted your child so heavily.
Statistically speaking, it is shown in survey was given to kids with divorced parents, that around 82% of those kids came to the conclusion that it was a better choice for both sides. (Freed) Children feel even better now. Most say that splitting the time between two different households isn’t all that bad; having separate rooms is better than hearing constant fighting and seeing the avoidance. It is seen that most parent-child relationships have improved significantly after all is said and done. Now splitting up households this ensures that the child will be able to spend quality time with their parents without any distraction in sight.
After doing research and speaking from first-hand experience, you are better off getting a divorce and saving both you and your children from unnecessary trauma. You are not selfish for putting yourself first; kids can adapt quickly to new environments. Do not spend another year unhappy. If you can’t do it for you, could you do it for them?
Parker, Wayne. “Is Staying Together for the Kids Ever the Right Decision?” Parents, Parents, 16 July 2024, www.parents.com/should-you-stay-together-for-kids-1270800.
Freed, Meghan. “What’s Better for Kids: Staying in an Unhappy Marriage or Divorce?” Freed Marcroft LLC, 7 Dec. 2024, freedmarcroft.com/whats-better-for-kids-staying-in-an-unhappy-marriage-or-divorce/.
