As a nail technician, I have all types of clients, most of which are strong, independent women who are just in need of a little pick-me-up. Being able to lift them up and make them feel beautiful everyday makes me feel a sense of accomplishment and joy. The smile on their faces after doing their nails gives me that same excitement as opening a package you’ve been expecting for a while or when you find $20 in some jeans you haven’t worn in weeks. It has become my passion and it is what I want to do for the rest of my life. With all that said, it didn’t always feel so right for me.
Before I started doing my own nails, I used to get my nails done at a salon every 2-4 weeks. Then covid hit and all salons got shut down. One day, amongst all of my boredom, my mom explained to me about how her coworker told her about her daughter that started doing her own nails at home. I thought that was so clever and sounded fun. I begged her to order me a cheap kit off Amazon. When the kit came, I immediately opened it and tried to replicate what I had seen the ladies at the salons do a million times. As I continued to try, I realized it wasn’t as easy as it looked. I thought, “maybe it’s just the products.” I mean it was a 250 piece kit off Amazon that only cost me $15. So after I couldn’t make that work, I went out and bought hundreds of dollars worth of products; dollars I could’ve spent on food or travel. I sat at my living room table every single day and practiced for hours for over a year. I spent so much time and money on all types of things; tips, polishes, charms, glitter, brushes. I watched so many Youtube and Tiktok tutorials. “How to get the perfect french tip?” “How to get a perfect shape?” “How to get the perfect apex?” My entire feed slowly transformed into one big tutorial. As I judged my work, I was always searching for perfection. I was searching for what I was seeing in those tutorials or even what I saw happen in the salons. When- to be completely honest- my work was pretty mediocre. I struggled to see that I was a beginner though. I judged every little detail. I continued trying & trying even on days when I wanted to give up. I was looking for what wasn’t all there. I struggled to believe in myself. Even on days when I doubted myself, I continued to work on my craft.
My mom would reassure me “Estoy bien orgullosa de ti! Has mejorado tanto!” I’m so proud of you! You’ve improved so much! Her words echoed in my head as I continued practicing that day. Her words helped me realize that sometimes I was being too hard on myself. As I layed in bed that snowy night, I scrolled through my camera roll. I looked back at my first set I ever did on myself and laughed. It was a short, clear set with little holographic butterflies. The shape looked so dull and rounded, the polish was all over my fingers, and the butterflies were sticking out. It looked like a toddler had done them. I looked at the nails I did earlier that day. The shape was crisp, the polish wasn’t on my skin, and the foundation of the nail itself was strong. It wasn’t perfect, but It was so much better. I couldn’t believe they were done by the same person. I thought back to all that I had learned as well. Back when I started, I didn’t even know what a cuticle was, let alone how to cut them. Who would’ve thought there were so many different methods of how to build the nail’s structure? I had learned so much in those last few months. There was still improvement to be done but I had come so far.
The definition of perfection is the condition, state, or quality of being free from all flaws or defects. That night I came to the conclusion that perfection isn’t easy to achieve. Who’s to say it’s even possible? I also realized that perfection shouldn’t be the end goal; improvement is. Without improvement, perfection wouldn’t even be a concept. If you do believe that perfection exists, you can’t reflect on improvement and growth. Perfection exists as an abstract object we reach toward to evolve, not something to possess.
